


stop speak support

by calvinahobbes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bullying, Homophobic Language, M/M, Post-Coming Out Videos (Phandom)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24701290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calvinahobbes/pseuds/calvinahobbes
Summary: There’s just an extra layer of awareness in his mind as he sits next to Phil on the sparsely populated tube on their way to a meeting, and the group of lads in their school uniforms stream into the carriage and start filling up the empty seats.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 20
Kudos: 146





	stop speak support

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, Keelin and Renee <3

The dark polyester trousers, crumpled white shirts, and shoddily tied school ties in various colours have a tendency to stand out when you come across them, despite how it’s a common enough sight in the city. The truth is that a gaggle of youths in school uniforms will probably never stop setting Dan’s teeth on edge. 

It’s not like it makes him flash back to sixth form or make him hyperventilate or anything like that. There’s just an extra layer of awareness in his mind as he sits next to Phil on the sparsely populated tube on their way to a meeting, and the group of lads in their school uniforms stream into the carriage and start filling up the empty seats. 

Dan tries to ignore them. Usually that would work out fine, but there’s an energy to this bunch that makes them impossible to tune out. 

One boy is sitting in a front-facing seat next to a window, in Dan’s peripheral line of sight. He is slightly built and looks smaller for the way he is hunched in on himself. The boy who has sat next to him is displaying a completely different body language, expansive gestures and spread legs, talking over his shoulder to his mates on the other seats. He keeps trying to engage the other boy in conversation, but the small ginger is staring resolutely out the window into the rushing dark. 

Dan recognises that posture and that dogged attempt to avoid the engagement. He remembers what it’s like from the inside. He knows that feeling. He can’t stop watching those two boys like a hawk, even though social conventions dictate that he pretend no other passengers exist.

“Isn’t that right, Wilson?” the bully is saying, nudging his victim with a sharp elbow.

The other boy shrugs, still looking away.

“What, I thought you’d be an expert on blowjobs. Being a fag and all. Or maybe you’re only into butt stuff. Is that it, Wilson? You only into butt stuff?”

The small ginger kid doesn’t move a muscle. Dan’s heart breaks for him in that moment. But there’s another feeling too. A feeling of rage and resentment. 

He glances at Phil who looks back at him. He looks uncomfortable so he must have heard the lad too. Dan’s pulse is rising. He feels himself on the cusp of doing something ill-advised. Next to him Phil shifts in his seat.

Dan looks back at the boys, all of whom are laughing and making loud and lewd comments. 

The bully laughs at the silence he is met with and says, “Did I hit a nerve, fag?”

Dan stands up. His pulse is in his ears, his throat, his hands. Behind him Phil says, “Dan.” He doesn’t know what that means and he doesn’t care. He's not listening.

He goes over to the group of school boys. He has to stop right in front of the bully before anyone even notices him.

“Hi,” he says and smiles. He waits a moment, but when he is met with a sea of awkwardly blank stares, he continues. “You shouldn't be saying that word.”

The bully glances up at him quickly and then away. “Oh right?” he snorts, as if he is hoping if he just ignores him Dan will give up and go away again.

“Yeah, you see,” Dan says and leans his weight back on his heels, "it’s a slur and I know I’m not the only one who’s offended by it.”

“Fag needs to mind his own fucking business,” someone mumbles in one of the other rows. An awkward titter breaks out among them. 

“Mmm, no,” Dan says, properly angry now. “I think you have that backwards. You see, it’s you who have to mind your own business and not try so hard to build yourselves up by tearing other people down.”

Out of the corner of his eye he sees the ginger boy whip his head round to look up at him and then immediately stare back out of the window. If anything he’s made himself even smaller. 

“Look, mate,” the bully says and stands up. "We were just having a friendly banter here. No need to get your knickers all in a twist." He pushes past Dan and goes farther down the carriage, slumping awkwardly at the very back of the group, arms crossed and head down.

Dan stares at the group of pimply teenage boys' faces in front of him and feels a wash of absolute hopelessness. "Look," he says imploringly. "You're the future!" He ignores someone's awkward giggle. "I know you're wracked with hormones and confusion and peer pressure. And statistically at least two of you are actually queer." This makes them all shift and rustle, shooting each other nervous glances. "But there's nothing to be afraid of! We're all just humans trying to make a go of it, right? We all just want to be happy. But we can be happy without tearing other people down. There's room for everyone--"

"Dan," Phil says and touches Dan's elbow and looks at him expectantly. "This is our stop?"

Dan stares at him. He may have forgotten where he was and where he was going for just a moment. He can feel the train slowing down. He looks back at the group of boys who, now that he's not treating them to a lecture, are staring openly at him. He sighs.

"Just. Be kind," he says, slightly despairing.

Phil, however, hasn't dropped his hand from Dan's elbow, fingers gripping on the fabric of his jumper. He's stepping away towards the doors, his arm stretching between them in the process. Dan is about to follow when he has a thought.

"Oh, and. To the statistically two or more of you," he says, deliberately not looking at the ginger boy on the seat right in front of him. "It gets so much better. So much." He feels an actual lump forming in his throat and steps away, following Phil to the doors right as they open. 

They step out on the platform and are nearly run over from behind when the small ginger boy rushes past them. Just as he brushes past Dan he mumbles, "Thank you," and then he's gone up the stairs and out of sight between the other travelers. 

Dan stops and stares mutely at Phil. He has no idea what got into him or what just happened. 

Phil's fingers close around his wrist and squeeze. "Proud of you," he says and smiles like he thinks Dan is simultaneously the best and silliest person he has ever known. Which, Dan thinks, is quite probably right. "Come on," he says and tugs Dan into motion.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://calvinahobbes.tumblr.com/post/620830411989434368).


End file.
